Children at increasingly younger ages are learning about and being confronted by issues around sexuality, identity and growing up, says a leading christian sexologist and speaker.

Dr Patricia Weerakoon, an honorary senior lecturer at the University of Sydney and consultant sex educator and therapist, has been asked by parents and others to discuss issues of sexuality with primary- aged students, and has been surprised by the awareness among younger children about issues of sexuality. “I would do these talks at schools, and I’d have Year 6 and 7 children asking about how gay men have sex, whether it’s wrong to have oral sex, or when to know if they’re ‘ready’ for sex,” she says.

“They can’t even spell it, and they want to know if they’re ready! These questions really alerted me to how much knowledge these children are acquiring so early, and the need to get parents in particular to talk about these issues earlier.”

Her latest book, Growing Up By the Book, is a sequel of sorts to her previous work, Teen Sex By the Book, but is targeted at this younger age group. Dr Weerakoon says she is particularly conscious of the need for parents to interact with their children, who are becoming sexually aware at increasingly younger ages.

“In a way, this book is really more for parents than children,” she says. “All through the book, there are special sections where the child can go and talk with their parents and ask specific questions, in order to get that conversation started, and to bridge that gap. We want parents to feel they can talk to their children about these topics, and empower them in that.”

Dr Weerakoon says availability of online information, and particularly the ubiquity and easy access of pornography to the average school child, means parents need to take a more forward-thinking approach to talking about sex with their kids.

“The reality is that we, and by ‘we’ I mean parents, need to be proactive,” she says. “Either parents give kids the information, or they will get it from their friends who themselves don’t know any better, they’ll get it from porn, or they’ll get it from school – which basically gives what they call a ‘value-free’ education that emphasises pleasure and safety, and isn’t concerned with concepts like purity or any kind of promise, or integrity in sexuality. These are things parents need to teach.”