Priscilla Khouchaba didn’t need Jesus. She wasn’t interested in another god.
“My god was myself and I did everything to make myself feel good,” says Priscilla. “I never took Christianity seriously. I was brought up in a Christian home but saw following God as a choice I could make later. As I saw others enjoying the things of this world, I wanted to experience these things. I knew that if I chose to follow Jesus, I wouldn’t be able to fulfill the lusts of the flesh that consumed me.”
From the age of 16, Priscilla’s life quickly became a search for satisfaction, seeking the attention and approval of others and surrounding herself with people and music that supported these habits.
“I was always searching for something else to make me happy, [but] nothing in my life had given me happiness. Jesus was the only way left,” she said.
After pushing God away for so many years, Priscilla thought she couldn’t return. She began to feel ashamed of her sin and tried to hide from God. “But I came to realise God’s love for me despite what I have done,” she says.
“Romans 5:8 became real for me: ‘But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’ I could not resist this love. I realised I did not have to be perfect. It is he who cleanses me, it is he who gives me a new heart and fulfills me. I wasn’t scared any more. I grabbed onto the love of God and haven’t let go.”
Priscilla’s search for satisfaction and self-fulfilment was over. “I wasn’t the centre of my life any more – Jesus was. The feelings of being unloved and lonely went away. My life changed dramatically.”
A year on from accepting Jesus, Priscilla is learning to live for God and face the challenges that come with following Christ.
“Although a few friends were supportive, I did lose friends as God changed me,” she says. “As I stopped going to certain places and doing certain things, I wasn’t able to keep a relationship with friends that did those things. They stopped talking to me because we lost many things we once had in common.
“Another challenge for me is sin. I am always reminded that I am not perfect and I find it really hard to accept at times. I want to be perfect for God because he deserves it.”
“Nothing in my life had given me happiness. Jesus was the only way left.”