Most weeks after church I ask myself the same questions. Here is a common one: ‘should my wife and I sit together in church?’ I am sure many others ask the same question.
The ‘yes’ case
There are lots of reasons why married couples should sit together.
- It is great to enjoy hearing God’s Word together, and just being with each other. Life is buy enough with couples having to divide in order to get things done, that church is one of those times you can relax together.
- It is important to model to others that marriage involves proximity to one another.
- Sitting with each other enables husbands and wives to minister together. They meet with and engage with people as a family unit.
- It enables people you are in conversation with to get to know you better. After all, you really don’t know me until you know my wife.
The ‘no’ case
There are also good reasons why you won’t sit together.
- By dividing you have more conversations and can do more ministry.
- Ministering separately gives more opportunity to chat and pray together with one another after church.
- Separate ministry often assists those who are alone and feel like everyone else is paired up.
The correct answer
There is no right answer to the question. In fact, in our family our practice changes so frequently.
This is because sometimes the best plans fail because of changed circumstances and opportunities. So often the right answer involves thinking clearly about what each individual is like and needs, what issues are happening in their marriage, the situations that are occurring in church and the desired outcomes for our time at church. All this mans that not only is there no right answer for everyone, but also that the answer to the question can change so quickly.
But
Even though there is no right answer it is important that we all think through questions such as this.
The writer to the Hebrews, in his great chapter on the God ordained and God empowered importance of gathering says:
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
What strikes me is that we are urged to consider how to spur one another on. This means thinking through, beforehand, how we minister as God’s gathered people. For those who are married to one another we must consider what is best for my spouse. That done, we then need to consider how we may be used by God to help those whom he has joined together with us in church.
This is the privilege we have as the people of God: the privilege of being able to serve n a variety of ways. It’s therefore important to think through how best to use the variety of options we have.
