John Nicholls, 38, would probably not be alive today if it had not have been for the "open door' policy of St Matthew's, Manly.
St Matthew's is well known on the Northern Beaches as being "the church of the open door' because its doors are kept open for most daylight hours of the week.
Early one Sunday morning in January 2002 John could not sleep.
He got up and wrote a suicide note which he left on his mother's dining room table.
It said "Sorry mum. I've just had enough. I can't handle the pain anymore. I love you. John.'
"I was very depressed. I had come to end of my tether," John says.
In 2001 John was working as a chef in Byron Bay.
The long, late hours led him into alcoholism and depression.
"My life became isolated. My wife couldn't handle seeing me for only one hour a day."
John and his wife divorced in 2001, and he left her and his daughter in Byron Bay, moving down to his mother's place in North Curl Curl.
"I wanted to find a way to commit suicide. I was driving through Manly and was planning to jump off North Head.
"I don't know what made me pull up, but there was a parking spot right outside the church. There is never one there!"
That's where John was spotted by Harold Gatwood at the door of St Matthew's and invited into the church.
John stayed for the 8am service, which he still attends to this day.
"I have missed about three services in three years," John says.
"The things said about God's love really struck me.
The people seemed so caring. Harold went out of his way to help me.
I walked out of church thinking "this is unbelievable'. I forgot all about suicide."
John quit drinking after becoming a Christian.
He has since completed his HSC and is now studying to be a research librarian.
"The people from the 8am service are like my family and I look forward to attending Bible study with them every Tuesday night."
"Harold bought me my first Bible and he is still my spiritual advisor who I talk with a lot."
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