On my blog this week I'd like to hand it over to my colleague Kate Bradford to tell the story of a pastoral encounter:
Deena and her siblings were foster children, passed from home to home, sometimes together and at other times separated. The good situations never cancelled out the bad ones. Deena’s and her siblings all suffer the effects of neglect and abuse to varying degrees. It was difficult to guess Deena’s age (somewhere between thirty five and fifty) as her face was weathered and she had a few teeth missing. Yet she had an engaging smile and laugh lines around her eyes. Deena was in hospital with her son who had suffered an accident at home.
Deena shared openly about the injury of her son, and quickly proceeded on to a myriad of other stresses in her life. Deena, herself, was in a stable relationship with a much loved child, but housing instability meant that Deena and her family moved regularly. Her relationships with her siblings were extremely strained. Her brother was violent and abusive but she worked hard to hold her own family together, not putting the kids into foster care because of her difficulties.
Her shoulder sagged as she admitted she couldn’t take it much more. Violence and the unpredictability of housing were getting to be too much. As she and the chaplain talked openly, Deena was immediately drawn to Jesus and his offer to those carrying heavy burdens and his promise of rest. Deena said, ‘Wasn’t he that fellow that had all those friends, twelve wasn’t it?’ After a short time Deena said, ‘I think, I went to Sunday School when we was little. Perhaps I’m just imagining but I remember something about God I think. We was foster kids, we lived with so many people I just can’t remember exactly.’ Deena and the chaplain chatted for a while longer about Jesus, and then the chaplain offered to pray for Deena and her son and the rest Jesus spoke of. Deena accepted the offer. The chaplain offered to bring her a little book of Bible verses called “Daily Strength” to dip into that evening and then offered to visit again the next day.
Deena was bubbling the next day, ‘I remember. I did go to Sunday school. We lived with this family for a bit and they took us to Sunday School. We would get up real early on Sunday. I remember the teacher. She was nice. It was in this hall building with low wall dividers, and different classes.’ The chaplain asked, “Do you remember the classes?” “There was Jesus and his friends and a King David and a giant?” “Do you remember anything about what happened to Jesus?” “He died on a cross, he died for our sins. What are sins?” They talked of sin and lives lived towards Christ and lives lived ignoring Him.
Immediately Deena’s face lit up, “Of course. If He’s God He gets to make the rules don’t He!”
Deena prayed and thanked Jesus and took some material on Jesus and a Gospel. She was excited about meeting Jesus again and remembering something so lovely from her sad and dislocated childhood, but was reluctant to be referred to a church. She and her son left hospital and slipped into the crowds.
Deena is like many people chaplains contact within hospitals. The contact with the chaplain was fleeting. In this case just two encounters. The relaxed connection was precipitated by previous positive contact with the Gospel.
Deena’s family are continually on the move because they are avoiding violent relatives and having difficulties in finding affordable rental accommodation. Many like Deena believe Jesus can accept them but they are not so sure about the church. They do not feel that their life is in good enough shape to risk going to a church.
How as a Christian community do we follow up people like Deena? What pathways can we create to make it easier for Deena and her son to feel like a church is a place they will be welcomed and made to feel a part of God’s community?
