Margaret Fuller is program manager for Anglicare Counselling in the Illawarra. She has 30 years’ experience in the social work and counselling field. In recent years Margaret has witnessed a significant increase in the number of people seeking help for depression. Here are some tips she offers to those of us struggling to know how to help a friend or family member showing signs of depression.
- Don’t let their depression get you down: If a person with depression sees that you’re going down with them, this can increase their feelings of guilt and helplessness. If you become overwhelmed by the situation, this won’t help them. We have to hold ourselves steady while standing by our friend which is really hard to do.
- Don’t ask them to cheer up: When a person feels pressured to cheer up they feel worse. It helps depressed people to know their friends see their condition as an illness and that it’s not their choice to be depressed.
- Ask your friend whether it would be worth going to see a GP: We can be so close to people that we become used to their behaviour. A GP is someone from outside their circle who can evaluate their symptoms.
- Show that you don’t think less of them because of their depression: People are often uncomfortable letting other people know they are depressed. Sufferers may prefer to hide their depression, especially men. It’s helpful when people are able to be up front about their condition. You must show that you don’t think that they are more sinful or weaker because of depression.
- Believe that the depressed person will get better.
- Encourage them to take positive steps: We can help by not letting them go back to bed, by encouraging them to go for regular walks or seek professional help but not placing unnecessary pressure on them to meet your expectations. Affirm them when they do something positive so they know you’ve noticed the effort they’ve made.
- Learn about depression – there are numerous books and web resources to help you understand the issue better.
compiled by Amy Butler
