Two years ago Jamilla was at her wit’s end. She was isolated and alone trying to bring up two daughters in a foreign country, which had customs and laws she couldn’t understand.
Jamilla had been an activist for women’s rights in Iran. In Iran women face restrictions in every sphere of life, from their clothing to their employment, education, civil rights and travel.
“There are no rights for women in Iran,” Jamilla says. “They put my heart in a cage.”
By the mid 1990s, life in Iran was impossible for Jamilla and her family. She was worried that if they stayed in Iran they would face increasing persecution and her daughters would have no future.
Jamilla and her family fled to Turkey. They were eventually accepted by the UNHCR as refugees and arrived in Australia seven years ago.
As a divorcee, Jamilla felt cut-off from her own ethnic community in Sydney. Not wanting to be dependent on Social Security, she struggled to support herself and her daughters by working part-time in a nursing home.
But Jamilla’s relationship with her eldest daughter, then 14, was deteriorating. Her daughter was having difficulties with her peer group at school and would refuse to do her homework. Jamilla was confused about how she could support her daughter emotionally and also discipline her.
“Australia has different rules. I had heard that if you discipline your child you will go to jail, so I was scared to confront my daughter. But this meant I was not strong enough with my daughter and she walked all over me.”
In desperation, Jamilla turned to Sarah Deuis from Anglicare Migrant Services in Cabramatta.
Sarah coordinates Anglicare’s Reconnect program and the Job Placement, Employment and Training (JPET) program.
Through these programs, Sarah and her team of skilled workers help troubled young people who are at risk of homelessness reconcile with their parents and either stay in education or find employment.
“Sarah taught me how to deal with my children in Australia and that my expectations for my daughter’s behaviour were reasonable. Thanks to Sarah I am confident as a parent and my daughters are growing up the right way.”
Today both of Jamilla’s daughters remain in school, where they are doing well academically.
But the greatest transformation has been in Jamilla’s life.
“For years I had fought for peace but inside I never knew peace,” she said. “But then I met Christians at Anglicare who were very caring and kind people and had that inner peace that I wanted.”
Jamilla wanted to know more about Christianity, and Sarah put her in touch with the Multicultural Bible Ministry in Bossley Park run by the Rev Ray Galea.
“When I went there, people were waiting for me. If I didn’t understand something that was said, they would explain it to me. They really respect people and now they are like my family.”
Jamilla attends Bible study every week and says her ‘life is now more peaceful’.
Jamilla is now studying Welfare at TAFE and is working casually for the Humanitarian Settlement Program at Anglicare Migrant Services.
“I want to make life better for Kurdish women by setting up a community group here in Sydney,” she said. “In my culture so many women are abused, but are too scared to get divorced and start a new life.”