Respect for others and their positions is something we so easily get wrong. We either fail to respect others or care so much for it that we fail to speak the truth.

I have had to grow up in this area. While at University I thought it my responsibility to tear down positions held by people who were not Christians. I still think that desire is appropriate because at that age everything in life is being challenged and we need to speak boldly in order to be heard. But sadly, I did not understand that the desire to confront people with the truth must never change, but the method of our engagement should mature.

Some lessons

Here are some lessons I have learnt.

1. People are more likely to listen to what you have to say when they know that you have taken the time to understand what they believe. Taking time to do this means that we can more clearly bring the gospel to bear on a person’s situation. It also permits them to know that I am not just concerned about winning the argument but that I care for them. I must respect a person’s humanity.
2. Changing a position for many people is not merely a matter of giving intellectual ascent. It sometimes means the loss of family. Community and those things that make up a person’s identity. For example I have ministered alongside people who have moved out of Islam, Roman Catholicism and Greek Orthodoxy who have been disowned by family and the wider community. I need to respect the cost involved in this, and the time that it takes to make such a change.
3. The gospel is its own credentials. I trust that God, by His Word, empowered by His Spirit, will change people and so I need not to trust that presenting the truth plainly, so that someone can compare the gospel message with what they currently believe will bear fruit in them coming to salvation.
4. We are often accused of racial and cultural superiority. That is to assume my way is the best way and so I have no time to listen to others. There is some truth in the accusation. Respecting and understanding another person enables me to better challenge what part of my thinking is cultural and what part is shaped by the gospel. That means that what I share is not my culture but what is true.

An example

I was speaking with an evangelist to Muslims and he said that one of the most powerful things they do is to run meetings which he calls ‘Making better understanding’ where they ask a Muslim to explain what they believe on a topic and then a Christian to explain what they believe on a topic. By clearly setting forth the alternatives in a respectful, non-confrontational manner he has seen many Muslims become Christians. 

What respect does not mean

But there is a danger, and it is a common danger because avoiding conflict is normal. In the name of respecting others it is easy to not clearly explain the gospel and the submission and change that it calls for. That is not what respect is. Respect involves recognizing the situations and influences that shape another person, recognizing that these influences are deeply part of them and that these feelings are as valid as yours are. When we understand this we can then call on them to listen to and respond to the truth and also help them to live this truth for the rest of their lives.

I guess I am asking us to listen well to other people and then think alongside them what the Christian life will like in their lives, while at the same time using this interaction to challenge and strengthen our own thinking.