Both the synod of the diocese of Sydney and the General Synod have passed resolutions on sexual misconduct for those in ministry leadership. This is absolutely right. It is sad to think this is required, but it is devastating to witness the mess that is the lives of those abused, those in relationship with the abused, and even the perpetrator " not to mention the dishonour to the name of God.
Since prevention is better than cure, I have been thinking about how we prevent these issues even getting a foothold. The answer seems obvious.
No one wakes up and thinks, "Today I will commit a horrible sin". For everyone I know caught up in pornography, illicit sexual activity, illicit drugs, alcoholism and a number of other problems, the pathway is always the same.
They start small, with something, which they know to be wrong but is not "too bad". Having done this, rather than satisfy desire, it opens the doorway to another action, which is only slightly more decadent than the last" and so it continues. I am told that this is exactly how the pornography sites attract paying customers " they offer free images, and once you download these, it is easy to get the viewer to pay for more explicit images. The same goes for adulterous relationships. For more on this subject, read the great article on 12 steps to an affair.
So what do we do? I'll take pornography as an example, because that is such a pervasive problem.
I have no hesitation, and think it is my duty as pastor to ask everyone in my care how they are going in sexual purity and other areas of purity. It would be even better if we could make this a regular but infrequent conversation that happens between friends.
If such an intrusion is to work at least two things are required. First, it will prove costly to the one who asks the question. If I expect someone to be honest with me, I must be honest with them, and so just as the one questioned is exposed, so too is the questioner. This is only fair, and it also protects the questioner. The devil loves secrecy, and so it is good to take this power away from him.
Secondly, we must never be judgmental in our helping brothers make progress, for we are all capable of being deceived into great evil. The sacrificial and substitutionary blood of Christ covers for our sins, and by His Spirit, empowers His people to overcome sin, so that we should expect and work together to make progress. Rather than do what our society and the current affairs programs do when they discover information, we must ensure that painful honest exposure is not used as a means to superiority, but as a way to help each other.
There are now many computer programs that scan Internet sites visited and send an email to a friend of any suspect sites. If we can create a culture in our churches of honest, Godly care then maybe, as a church family we can help each other in this area. This fellowship of caring for each other has to take priority over (even though helpful) merely restricting access to sites. This is a resource which Christians have, which is often not available to the wider community, and yet we let shame stop us benefiting from it. I think it is a terrible blight upon us as churches that we so often do not know what is happening in private until it is too late.
