There has been a lot of research on attachment of newborns to their carers over the last fifty years, but the care of newborns is not something the Bible gives us a lot of insight about. Nevertheless, we need to take note of good academic research and follow the recommendations made where there is consistency with the Bible's teachings.
It does worry me when new approaches do the rounds of Christian circles encouraging a style of parenting that flies in the face of well founded academic research, often claiming Biblical authority for support. One such book is Babywise by Gary Ezzo which has been quite popular among many Christians. Ezzo's book advocates a strict regime of parent-directed, rather than on-demand feeding which lead to concerns about the potential harm to newborns.
While not claiming any sort of Biblical authority, the views of one practitioner in the recent four-part ABC TV series, Bringing up Baby have also caused controversy. The advice of so-called infant care expert, Claire Verity included:
"¢ No eye contact with your baby;
"¢ Cuddling for only 10 minutes a day;
"¢ A very strict four-hourly feeding routine; and
"¢ Sleeping through the night in a separate room from a very early age.
I strongly disagree with this advice!
Babies need to be nurtured, held, rocked and cuddled. Eye-to-eye contact is good for a baby - parents should gaze lovingly into their eyes and give them lots of physical contact. The first few weeks are a time for getting to know your baby and becoming attuned to their cues for attention.
Human babies are generally considered to be the most helpless newborns compared to any other species of mammals. Some baby animals can run within minutes of birth and instinctively source food while humans take at least a year to walk and need parents to feed and nurture them. Babies thrive on a secure relationship with their parents. We are relational beings from birth.
From their first days, babies are learning about their world, and the neural pathways in their brains are being shaped by their experiences. When a parent responds lovingly to their baby's cues, a secure attachment is being built and the baby begins to experience the world as a safe place. This does not mean you have to pick up your baby every time they cry, sometimes they might just need patting off to sleep. But as Dr. Bruce Perry, an internationally recognized authority on brain development and children in crisis, writes:
"Consistent and responsive attention to the crying newborn will help the infant build in the neurobiological capacity to tolerate future stress in an optimal fashion.'"
Babies need connectedness to their primary attachment figures, usually their parents - Loving, predictable, safe, caring environments. By age three the brain is 80% of the adult size, shaped by these early experiences.
Parents also need to take care of themselves when a newborn enters the family - You need rest, support and encouragement during this major life event. This is when family, friends and the church community can help. Sleep deprivation knocks you around. I used to sleep when the baby slept and leave the dishes. This is much harder when you have a toddler to look after as well.
I don't think there is any fool proof formula for caring for a newborn; it's about a unique relationship between two human beings. What you're aiming for is a secure attachment.
What does a secure attachment look like? Children who are securely attached do not experience significant distress when separated from caregivers later on. When frightened, these children will seek comfort from the parent or caregiver. Contact initiated by a parent is readily accepted by securely attached children and they greet the return of a parent with positive behaviour. While these children do not become exceptionally distressed by a parent’s absence, they clearly prefer parents to strangers.
It's a great idea to work towards a good feeding and sleeping routine. The Early Childhood Health Centres are great at giving good advice and support for new parents. A good routine is good for both of you, but please don't use Claire Verity's harsh methods.
If you have read Babywise and have a view on Gary Ezzo's approach, saw Bringing Up Baby on ABC TV, or struggle with some of the seemingly contradictory advice about caring for newborns I would love to hear your feedback.
