Review of When to Really Worry about your Teenager by Michael Carr-Gregg
Teenagers struggling with mental health is a major issue facing Australia today. There is an increase in frequency and severity with 26% of children and adolescents believed to be affected.
In fact, 75% of people experiencing a mental health issues first become ill before the age of 24. Early detection and treatment could resolve many issues.
When to Really Worry… is the latest in a series of "surviving adolescents" books by Michael Carr-Gregg including a general book on adolescence, The Princess Bitchface Syndrome (about female emotional manipulation) and Real Wired Child (on-line risks).
Dr Carr-Gregg is a practising psychologist specialising in parenting adolescents, and adolescent mental health.
This is an excellent book written for parents, full of practical information. It covers risk signs, depression, anxiety disorders, ADHD, eating disorders, self harm, psychosis and youth suicide, as well as listing resources and further reading.
Along with the facts and advice, there are stories that personalise and illustrate the issues. In fact, the book was conceived following the tragic death of Hannah Modra in 2008.
Hannah was one of five children, growing up in a loving family in a nice house and suburb. She loved singing, music, writing, reading, and exercising. She had deep faith and taught Sunday School; she had a job and lots of friends, and was an excellent student.
The day she died was the day she collected her prefect's badge. She fainted and her Mum suggested she lie down. She went upstairs, wrote in her journal and then committed suicide.
With investigation it was discovered that there had been subtle signs of depression, sleep disturbance, sadness, withdrawal, lack of energy and a tendency to be self-critical. Significantly, there was also a history of depression on both sides of the family.
When the pieces of the jigsaw were put together it revealed a pattern that may have been picked up by a skilled practitioner; but instead her suicide was a complete shock to family, friends, teachers and all who knew her.
So, why are Hannah and so many others like her getting sick and attempting (sometimes successfully) to kill themselves in record numbers?
Dr Carr-Gregg mentions three areas of particular concern:
1. The early sexualisation of young people, especially young women, affecting self-image and healthy development, and leading to depression and eating disorders.
2. A lack of good parenting skills and confidence. Professor Fiona Stanley claims 1 in 5 parents lack the knowledge, skills, strategies and time to effectively raise their children. An Australian Childhood Foundation report showed that 60% of parents believe they could do a better job.
3. A speeding up of puberty and growing up via accelerated learning programs, too many extra-curricular activities, and exposure to films and games beyond the emotional and/or cognitive abilities of teenagers.
All these factors short circuit the period of time when children develop a sense of self and belonging, and an understanding of how they fit into the world. Instead they are confused, depressed, have unhealthy self-image and are prey to substance abuse, sexual addiction or self harm to dull the pain.
I was so impressed with this book that I encouraged my husband to read it, as we have two teenagers making the transition to adulthood. He commented that Dr Carr-Gregg gives you confidence as an expert, yet writes in a way anyone can understand, and focuses on the positive things parents can do.
Although this book does not provide the solutions to mental illness - the recommendation is always to seek specialist advice and care - this is a great frontline resource for parents, teachers and youth leaders, and could avoid much suffering.
