When a person walks into our church gatherings we are keen to make the first impression a memorable one.

That is fantastic, as the first impression is sometimes the only one you get the chance to make, or else the first impression colours all else they see and hear and it takes a long time for that impression to change. I am excited that so many churches are using the Evangelism Ministries Welcoming Course, and thinking through how a new person feels and what they see as they join us.

But there is a problem that nags away as I welcome people and as I see others do so. It is the problem of not wanting to cause offense. So keen am I not to do or say anything that could alienate the person I am speaking to, that our conversation can so easily be pleasant but have no substance. Sport and weather can fill the whole time.

That way of discoursing is absurd. A person takes the initiative and the bold step of entering the unfamiliar territory of church because they either know or think that the answers to life can be found with the God of the Bible, and with his people. So they arrive and instead of helping them to see how significant what we have to say is; we engage in the trivia that they can get anywhere. What is the point of joining us if there is nothing different in our lives or words?

Here me properly. I am not saying get rid of small talk. Small talk is the lubricant of relationships and is natural and human, but to be scared of going beyond that is not considerate of the person to whom we are speaking, nor honouring to God.

But the problem doesn't cease there. The content of the first couple of conversations a person has at church set the expectations for them, and so they so quickly resort to chat rather than meat and the problem is perpetuated.

Further, in early conversations is when you really get to know people: what they really think, what excites them, where they stand with Jesus. It is easy to ask those questions early on. After you have been speaking to a person for several months it is much harder to ask those questions, because so much water has flowed under the bridge of relationships that to ask is a massive change of gear.

I know we think we have to earn the right to discuss big issues. The last thing we want to do is inappropriately pry into another's life, but people come to us in order to sort out the big issues of life and eternity.

To think that it is easier to ask the big questions early rather than after the relationship has settled down is contrary to the way most of us think, but it is so often true. To realise this will change, or at least give energy to, our willingness to be bold in early conversations.