David Bartlett resigned as Premier of Tasmania last week. Apparently he read his seven-year-old son, Hudson's, journal completed as part of a homework task, and noticed a recurring entry. "Daddy went to work this weekend".
It was a seminal moment for the Premier. His son was clearly missing him. Would he continue to sacrifice family life for his career and the demands of his current job, or would he give up his position in order to give his family more time and attention? He made his decision and resigned as Premier. He has decided to remain in Parliament and Cabinet.
In response to the news of this story, on Richard Glover's Drive Program (ABC 702), listeners were invited to call in and recount their 'ahah' moments in parenting for themselves or their partners. Parents talked about comments their children had made about their absent dads. One said, "Mum, who's that man in your bed?". A man who went to work before the children woke up and returned in the evening after they went to bed described how his child knocked on the parents' bedroom door and said, "I just want to see what dad looks like.". A three year old answered the door to her father who had been away on yet another business trip and who was expecting whoops of delight from his children upon his return. She said, "Oh, you came back and walked away!". Perhaps later other parents phoned in with stories about absent mothers, but I had arrived home by then and the car radio was off!
Work can be seductive can't it? The pleasure derived from achievement and the accompanying recognition by peers and sense that you are contributing in an important way to society is so satisfying! When we work hard we are fulfilling our God given potential. We study hard and we hone our skills and we want to use them before we lose them. We are at our peak often when our children are young or in their adolescence.
How hard it is to balance the basic requirements of family life and the demands of work life. And it's not just the needs of the children; it's the need for parents to have time alone together to nurture their relationship. Without a strong partnership, children will no doubt suffer. Knowing that your parents love and support each other through thick and thin provides a powerful model of a committed relationship for children.
If you are feeling torn between work and family life commitments, at least have a chat with your partner. If your partner is already nagging you about it, don't build a wall and bunker down without considering the issues. Have a conversation about it with your partner and if necessary, seek out a good relationship counsellor to help you. Women can feel like their man is married to his job and I guess men can feel the same if the situation is reversed.
Please feel free to speak your mind on this subject and share your own story. I am sure that we would all benefit from some sharing of insights into this issue. Is there some rule of thumb or guideline you use to help you determine whether you say 'yes' or 'no' to yet another request? Many busy, competent people will not just spend time at their paid work, but will also take on voluntary roles because it is an honour to be asked and there is a job that needs doing.
We, as a community need to have this discussion because many families are suffering and because voluntary and paid work play such a vital role in the structure of our society. Can we talk?
