What do we have to go through in order to change or deal with change?
Can the ... Leopard change his spots?’ I don’t think even grown-ups would keep on saying such a silly thing if the Leopard ... hadn’t done it once—do you?
(Rudyard Kipling)
I enjoyed Archie Poulos' musing on the paradox of what people can change and what seems unable to be changed in his comment piece a couple of weeks ago. It reminded me of the question which new clients often pose to me early on in their counselling. "I don't really think I can change this thing about me - it's just who I am. What do you think?" I usually reply "well if that is true, I am out of a job" in a more or less direct fashion depending on the sensitivity of the client.
Dealing with external, imposed changes is a growth industry for management consultants in this rapidly changing world. My father's generation entered a job straight from school, and not infrequently would stay with the same firm until they got their gold watch some 50 years later. Now, our children are being told to expect no fewer than 5 separate careers before they retire. Change is endemic, rapid and getting more frequent year by year.
Our Christian walk is constantly punctuated by demands for change in ourselves, both internally and in the way we relate to God, others and the world. Weekly we are exhorted by our preachers to better ourselves: their constant back message could well fit under "let us run with perseverance the race before us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith" (Hebrews 12:1,2). Sometimes we forget the other encouraging message that we can ask for and trust in the Holy Spirit's enabling in our progressive sanctification.
Despite change having the potential to open up exciting new possibilities for us, and the assurance that God is with us in times of change, it is an unsettling process. Having a rough road map can help us to make sense of where we are in the process of change.
The diagram below maps the continuum from the inevitable endings that are a part of change, to the new beginnings. By mapping where a person is on the continuum, they can see where they are, and how far they have to go.
Loss—————————————————————————————-Gain
Victim———————————————————————————-Owner (Of the process, I am not helpless)
What has changed(structure)—————————————————————————————Why it has changed (function)
As people move from the left along the continuum, they move through transition towards new beginnings.
How have you dealt with change - either externally imposed or internal change? What helped you?
