I’ve spent some of my summer reading all kinds of children’s ministry books. Like a scratched record (remember those things?), three themes come up over and over again:
1. Children can be noisy and that’s OK.
2. Parents need to be brought into the centre for the Christian faith formation of their children.
3. Experiencing and being actively involved with their faith community nurtures children’s faith.
So what would this look like in your church?
Children can be noisy and that’s OK
I remember visiting a church when my children were very young. There were lots of welcoming smiles as we walked in, but there were just as many turned heads and unhappy frowns when my baby started to cry. It seemed that my children were very welcome as long as they were cute and silent, but there was no room for them when they turned into noisy, difficult monsters.
I love what Pope Francis said to a group of parents having their babies baptised in the Sistine Chapel this week: “Today the choir will sing, but the most beautiful choir of all is the choir of the infants who will make a noise”. How can we encourage the most beautiful choir of all?
• Welcoming parents and letting them know that it is OK if their children are noisy is a good start.
• Providing alternative places to sit if parents want to move their child from the church service.
• Starting a ministry of “Baby Holders” where people look out for families who might appreciate another set of hands.
• Giving bags of toys as families come into church.
Parents need to be brought into the centre for the Christian faith formation of their children
Open just about any book on children’s ministry and the role of parents will jump out at you. As Ivy Beckwith points out in her book Postmodern Children’s Ministry (Zondervan, 2004, p. 105-106):
The average child is involved in church programming for, at the very most, 150 hours out of the year (and that’s for families who are at church every time the doors open). When you contrast that with the countless hours a child spends within his family each year, it almost seems incredulous that anyone could believe the church can do a better job of spiritual nurture than families can.
There are so many things a church can be doing to nurture parents’ roles in this, but here are few things that spring to mind:
• Informing families about what story will be covered in the Sunday children’s ministry so they can read it with their children beforehand.
• Sending home or emailing suggested activities for during the week to follow up on what the children learnt in their ministry time.
• Interviewing families in church to hear how they read the bible and pray together as a family.
• Programming events that involve all family members.
• Providing opportunities for parents and children to learn together.
Experiencing and being actively involved with their faith community nurtures children’s faith
When children see faith at work in their parents’ lives and in the lives of other members of their church their own faith is encouraged and nurtured. Churches can encourage and support parents so they can nurture their children’s faith in their homes. And we can provide opportunities for faith formation in our specialised children’s ministries. But church communities can also nurture our children’s faith by allowing them to participate in our church services and in our other ministries.
This will look different in different churches, and could include:
• Encouraging children to participate in the music ministry.
• Involving children in welcoming newcomers to the church.
• Inviting children to be involved in communion.
• Providing large print versions of the Lord’s Prayer, Creeds and other set readings used in the service.
• Asking families to lead prayers.
• Giving children opportunities to read the Bible in church.
• Involving children in ministry to the needy; for example helping to serve breakfast to the homeless, visiting nursing homes, and sending cards.
• Partnering adults and children to pray for each other.
Children are part of the body of Christ.
They are often noisier and messier than other parts of the body, but like other parts of the body they are important.
What is your church saying about the children in your midst?