While we can easily take the letters of Paul for granted in our lectionary readings, the first time that a letter from the apostle was read out in a church must have been a special event in the life of a first century church.  All the more so, if Paul was writing a personal letter to your church. Thus we can only imagine the excitement in Philippi when news spread that Paul, their founder and first pastor, had sent them a letter from Rome. Epaphroditus, one of their own, had been sent by the church to deliver aid and assistance to the apostle in his missionary endeavours (Philippians 4:4-20).  This had been much appreciated by Paul and now he was sending, by the hands of Epaphroditus (2:25-30), a letter of thanks to the congregation for their partnership in the gospel.

At the Sunday assembly, the saints of Philippi meet to hear Paul's letter to them all.  A hushed tone descends upon the assembly of bishops, deacons and lay people as Epaphroditus slowly reads Paul's epistle.  They hear of the affection in which he holds them all and of the encouragement they have been to him in his imprisonment (1:7) He reminds them that they are to be Christ-minded in their relationships with each other and to count others better than themselves (2:3). The Philippians are to shine like lights in the world among a crooked and perverse generation (2:15).  They are to imitate Paul in his encounter with suffering, knowing that our true citizenship is in heaven (3:17-21). And then comes the gentle, but public rebuke, when he makes reference to a personal dispute within the congregation.  Worse still, he names the two people who are in dispute (4:2-3)!  Imagine what it would have been like sitting next to Euodia or Syntyche that Sunday (or being one of them!). That the knowledge of their disagreement had reached Paul in Rome suggests that the dispute had become a public one.  Paul deliberately mentions these sisters by name, not to shame them, but to encourage them. Note that he pleads with each one personally (4:2) that they agree in the Lord.  He even encourages the true yokefellow (one of the bishops at Philippi?) to assist these sisters in achieving such a reconciliation (4:3).

What should Christians do when they disagree? In following the apostle's counsel to Euodia and Syntyche, we should work towards agreement.  While this may sound trite and simplistic, it is worth remembering. All too often Christians make no effort to resolve their disputes, preferring to harbour resentment and ill will towards another brother or sister. This surely is not the way of Christ. If it needs a third party (like the yokefellow of Philippians 4:3), then that should be pursued.  Sometimes a trusted friend or elder can bring objectivity and wisdom to bear upon a situation. Of course, it is always best if these matters can be kept private as much as possible, though it is surprising how difficult it is to keep private a dispute between two congregational members!  Obviously this difficulty was not overcome in the case of these two sisters Philippi.

Sometimes disputes are resolved, because one side recognises the error of their ways. Such a case was Paul's dispute with Peter in Antioch (Galatians 2:11-14; cf 2 Peter 3:15-16). On this occasion Paul needed to make the dispute public because of the significance of the disagreement, which was compromising the gospel.  On another occasion, when Paul disagreed with Barnabas about whether or not to take Mark with them on their second missionary journey, the dispute was resolved by separating and going their different ways (Acts 15:36-41). While Luke's record of this event is tantalizingly brief, it would appear that Paul could not agree with Barnabas concerning Mark's suitability.  That Paul later commended Mark to the Colossians (4:10) demonstrates that Paul's earlier disagreement did not prevent him from changing his mind about the value of Mark's service (notwithstanding that Mark may well have matured in the meanwhile). Paul's disagreement with Barnabas and Mark did not prevent their on going contact with each other and their mutual respect.

In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Paul gives instruction to Christian marriage partners, that they should not separate (presumably due to significant disagreement), but if they do so, then they should remain single or else be reconciled to their original partner. Clearly reconciliation is the goal, but if that cannot be achieved, then any separation that ensues must not jeopardise the possibility of reconciliation. Furthermore, in his advice to Christians married to non-christians, where the marriage breaks down, Paul reminds his readers that we are called to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15).  Sometimes that peace may result in the separation of the marriage partners, at other times, it hopefully will result in the maintenance of the marriage.

So what can we learn from the teaching of Scripture?  First, we need to acknowledge that disagreements will happen from time to time between Christians.  Second, we should aim for agreement in the Lord, possibly seeking a third party to assist us.  Third, if we cannot find agreement in the Lord, then we should seek peace, whether that is the peace of physical separation or the peace of not allowing the disagreement to affect the relationship. However, in all of this the grace of humility ought to adorn us in our disputes with other Christians. It is significant that Paul's reflections upon Christ's humility and the need for us to have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:2) preceded his exhortation to Euodia and Syntyche in Philippians 4.

While our fellowship will always be challenged by internal disagreements, we ought not to allow our disagreements to fracture the unity of the Spirit. Rather we should be eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3). There is a charitable way to express our disagreements with each other, whether within a congregation or within a diocese, or indeed, within the Anglican Communion. For some, it will be necessary to express the disagreement publicly, yet this does not diminish our responsibility to pursue peace with one another. Sadly for others, it may mean the necessary withdrawal from the fellowship of those with whom they disagree.  While this is regrettable, it still behoves us to pursue peace with an eye to reconciliation, for that is our calling.

First published in the Epping Parish Magazine, 2005