“Love your neighbour - and you don’t have to like someone to love them!” I’ve encountered this idea quite a few times over the years. I suspect the point being made is that we can still perform loving acts of service for those who we naturally dislike.

That’s all well and good, but I actually think the statement is pretty unhelpful. It seems to me that some have used this idea to justify despising the people they are outwardly showing acts of kindness toward. The emotional payoff for this is twofold - there’s the perverse delight of having contempt for someone else, and there is also the self-righteous satisfaction of doing something really difficult, that is, “loving” someone we actually loathe.

It really bothers me when I meet Christians who seem to fundamentally dislike people. As I read through the Bible, I can’t believe this sort of attitude is acceptable. We are told to love our neighbour, but it is not some kind of cold, mechanical love, devoid of affection. Scripture tells us to be kind to people, patient with them, forbearing with their faults, gentle toward them, generous and so on. There is no place here for a secret hatred, masked by a screen of “good deeds”.

I believe we are obliged to make an effort to feel a genuine affection and empathy for those who we find unpleasant. We need to learn to like them. I know this is pretty difficult in some cases, and I’m not suggesting it will happen overnight. But simply changing our attitude on the whole issue is a big first step. American comedian Will Rogers once said, “I have never yet met a man that I didn’t like.” I wonder how different we would all look if we went through life with this attitude? And how much would it help our mission if we started to genuinely like and enjoy the people we are trying to connect to?