On July 20, 2013, I had what I would describe as a moment where the Spirit lifted the veil. It became true to me that God was real and that the gospel was true. 

I had been reading The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. In it, the senior devil talks about how God gives humans a little glimpse into his true presence, often at the beginning, to get them across the line. That resonated with my experience. 

There was a lot in the lead-up to that moment. I grew up with a Catholic mum. I thought that Jesus died on a cross, yet never spent time thinking about what that meant for me or for my worldview. I didn’t understand grace.

I was at uni, studying teaching. My close group of friends at uni were all evangelical Christians. It wasn’t until fourth year that a friend wanted to move to a church in the city and asked me to go with her. We ended up at church in the graveyard at Newtown-Erskinville Anglican. After we left, I said to her, “I think we should go there” – and used “we”. That made up her mind, and we went every week. 

Two months after attending, I asked if I could join a Bible study. People gave me time and space to ask questions and have conversations. There was wonderful preaching that exposed the cracks in my life and how I understood things. I didn’t see my need for Jesus very clearly until sitting under faithful preaching, week after week. I got to a point where I thought, “I’m not as good as I perceived”. 

There were a few times I thought, “I do want to be a Christian”, but I would still be unsure. God was really kind to me on that afternoon in July, giving me a real sense of conviction. My faith has been a real gift from God, and a real anchor since then. 

What became apparent to me is that life is really uncertain. That feels more true today than it did then. But Jesus is really certain and consistent. He is the same and he is reliable. He is a steady and sure presence in my life. 

Ministry became an inevitable next step. During my PhD, it became obvious that I would much rather be reading theology than the things I was reading and researching. I really wanted to go to Bible college, not to go into ministry initially, but to spend time learning. 

At the end of my time at Moore Theological College, a job opened up at St Andrew’s Cathedral School. God was tying all the threads of my life together. I could use all of those threads effectively to serve his people. My PhD research was in curriculum development and the school wanted someone to redo the curriculum for Christian Studies. I hadn’t planned any of this. It definitely felt in God’s plans. 

In the lead-up to ordination, I was trying to explain to my toddler that Mummy was going to make promises to serve God and his people for the rest of her life. That’s already something that I want to do and am doing, but I have a particular opportunity to be able to promise that to God and his people. 

Part of it is giving back to the communion of God’s people who have been so supportive of me. I became a Christian in this Diocese. I’ve been nurtured, trained, loved and discipled by people in this Diocese. It feels like the right thing personally for me to do is to commit myself to God, and then to them in particular. It’s a privilege to make that commitment. 

What the expression of these promises will look like over the next few years is a little less clear. Pray that I would be creative and committed to keeping these promises in whatever form that will look like.