The language we use as we welcome people at church is significant. It says all sorts of things about us, and also sets the language we use in church for a considerable time into the future.

Here is an example. For a couple of years now a line I hear at the beginning of almost every gathering is “Hello, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m [insert name]”. This introduction does many things. Most importantly, it says that we recognize there will be people in our meeting who don’t know who is up front, and we have thought about them and care for them. But it so quickly becomes part of the unchanging liturgy we employ and consequently members stop listening to what has been said.

In many ways the introducing of oneself is innocuous, but there are other things we say that I want us to think about because they are of greater significance.

Betraying our attitudes

‘Visitors’

What term should we use to describe those who have joined us for the first time? The circles in which I move tend to call them visitors. The term visitor implies people are welcome, but may also carry the unsaid notion that we don’t expect them to remain with us. Perhaps we should use the term ‘guest’ for early timers? While guest may suffer from the same shortcoming as visitor, it seems to me to have more of a welcome tone, and may give opportunity for us to speak of guests becoming family.

‘Regulars’

What do we call the person who is moving from visitor/guest to the next level of commitment and involvement? Again, in my circles we tend to call them regulars. The problem with ‘regular’ is that it is not used anywhere else in our lives and measures engagement solely on the basis of attendance. The problem is that attendance is not all we seek, and the very term ‘regular’ can be defined however a person wishes to be. Regular could be attendance once a term! How about we use language like commitment to the family here gathered, or partnering together for God’s glory or our growth in Christlikeness? I know this is a mouthful, but at least it describes what we are committing to.

‘Look after’

Finally, I think it is a sign of our failure when, as we dismiss our congregations to morning tea or supper, we say ‘regulars, please look after our visitors’. What does this accomplish, apart from signaling that we don’t naturally care for our guests?

My plea is to recognize that we must think hard about the language we use rather than just continuing to use terms and sentences with which we have become familiar. Every word we use, especially when it comes to those unfamiliar with us, speaks loudly about how we perceive them.