Lisa Elliott – Christ Church, St Ives

Growing up, my father was Anglican and my mother was Catholic, but we never went to church. My parents never went, ever. For me, I always felt like I had a relationship with God, but I didn’t have to go to church or read the Bible in order to have that relationship.

I’d been under that premise my whole life. I’d always thought, “I don’t have to go to church, I don’t have to read the Bible, I just have a relationship with God”. Now I see that’s not true, but I thought that was the way it was.

I would always acknowledge God and thank him for blessings and always talk to him but, looking at it now, it was a very one-way relationship.

I had a devastating thing occur in my family. I’ve always been close with my parents, and my mother has begun the road to dementia. I was accused by my mother of stealing her jewellery – it’s a very common thing. I said, “Mum, don’t be ridiculous,” but she was adamant that I stole her jewellery. 

It was a week before Christmas, and I was not permitted to see my parents. I wasn’t allowed to go into the house. They changed the locks. My father couldn’t talk to me or see me because my mother said, “It’s her or it’s me” and, obviously, he is going to support his wife. I felt like I lost both of my parents in one week.

My brother went over to the house, and he couldn’t find the rings anywhere. He found a bunch of other items my mother had hidden.

I went through Christmas, the New Year, my son’s birthday, crying every day. It was completely devastating.

I basically gave everything over to God and said, “This burden is really heavy on my heart and soul. I don’t care what you do; I am leaving this with you. Your will, not my own. You sort this out”.

Three days later, a month after the accusation, my father found the jewellery. He rang me, and he was so excited. He said, “We’ve found it!” and I said, “I’m coming over now”. I hadn’t seen my parents in four weeks and said, “Thank you, God!”. All the way, as I drove to their place, I was thanking God. 

Then I had this epiphany: God had heard me, but I’d never heard God. 

Ears and heart open

The next day, I rang the only person I knew who went to church and said, “I’ve got to come to church”. She said, “Yes, I went this morning,” then added, “I’ll meet you this afternoon.” I said, “You already went.” She said, “God won’t mind if I go twice!”I’ve been going to church with her most weeks for the past year.

I felt like I was finally hearing God’s word and what he had to say, and I learnt all about Jesus. The moment that it hit my heart was around Easter. My whole life, I knew the story of Easter, but it wasn’t until I went to the Good Friday service, and I was reading Scripture, and read all the things that had happened, that I got in my heart the true meaning of Easter. 

I remember being so upset and crying throughout the day because it was so emotional. I remember having big, long conversations with Jesus and God and sharing my heart for what had happened. Then Easter Sunday came along, and that was such a joyful moment. I remember thinking, “I’ve known this story my whole life, but I didn’t know it in my own heart”. That sealed the deal for me. 

The more people I spoke to about God and Jesus the more I was learning, and the greater the peace that I was feeling. It’s been this journey of my relationship with God, which has been really positive and amazing.

I’m a really excitable, outgoing person. However, there was also an underlying anxiety that would follow me around everywhere. Once I gave it up to Jesus, and went, God’s will, not my own, and reminded myself that God’s got this and God won’t let me fall, it changed.

If I didn’t go through what I went through at the start of the year, I wouldn’t have this relationship with Jesus. That’s how I view it today: God’s will. Whatever happens is meant to happen, and I couldn’t have said that before. I was devastated and heartbroken. I didn’t know it, but I had to go through that horrible thing in order to come to the other side and see Jesus and God.

I wish I had known this sooner

There’s great peace. Even when it comes to all of those things, I can say, “It’s okay, everything’s fine”, and be grateful. That’s another thing – I always wanted the pretty house and nice car and I didn’t have those things. I learned through the gospel to be grateful for what I do have. I’ve got a roof over my head, a job, a car that takes me to work, and a family. Just learning to be grateful for what I do have, rather than yearning for what I don’t. has given me such comfort, which wasn’t present before.

I’ve been learning so much about the Bible and reading the stories. I’ve enjoyed a lot of Matthew. I’m still learning a lot about the Bible and the individual stories. In fact, I’ve only just put my hand up for a growth group for next year. It’s a huge thing for me. 

As my relationship with God builds and gets stronger and stronger, my only regret is that it didn’t start sooner. Why didn’t I get this when I was young? Why did I have to be in my mid-50s before I had a relationship with God and Jesus? So, I would encourage people to do it – because I wish this had started sooner.

The thing that I ask for is to learn more about God’s word and reading the Bible and spending time in prayer. These are all habits – things that aren’t constant in my life yet – and I know they’re both so important. I get disappointed when it’s the last thing that I do instead of the first thing that I do. 

We go through life, we’ve all got issues, but I feel like, through the gospel, there’s a pathway, and you can be shown where to go just by reading the gospel.