Have you ever thought why people are not keen or refuse to come to church when you ask them? Have you ever been perplexed why your friends are not excited and keen to return to church when you have had such a great experience?
There are lots of true answers to these questions. One fundamental one is that we are not at war against flesh and blood. There is a spiritual battle occurring, and the prince of this world is blinding the eyes of people to truth. That is why we pray for God to open eyes and soften hearts.

However, there are also other factors over which we have some control.

Seeing through another's eyes

Most of the time we cannot understand another person's reaction because we fail to stand in their shoes and view what is happening through their eyes. We take for granted ways of thinking, relating and perceiving things that are different to theirs.

For example what we see as friendliness others may see as pushy-ness if they are unused to relating the way Christians often do.

Things that we do naturally seem absurd to others. Have you thought what sharing the Lord's Supper looks like to someone who has never seen it before? Or the unintelligibility of announcements about houseparties and Summer School. 

Expectations

Another problem is that everyone comes to things with expectations. Expectations affect the way you see things. For example if you go to a meeting where there are 20 chairs set out and 50 turn up, you think "this is really big", but if you go to a meeting where 100 chairs are set out and 50 turn up you think "this is smaller than they expected". The thought you have affects the way you respond. 

In a similar way people have expectations of what a Christian gathering or church meeting will be like- often from events that occurred in their youth, or from second hand information, or prejudice. This explains why people are so often hesitant to take up invitations. I have met so many people who assume that they will be told they are not good, have to perform better in order to join Christianity. The gospel of grace and free forgiveness, the idea that Christians know their failure rather than their superiority is not part of their expectations. 

We need to put thought into how to change the expectations of people who have not experienced the gospel of grace. But more of that another time. 

Perceptions

A person's perception of what happens as Christians gather can function in one of two opposite ways. It can either reinforce a position that is held, or it can question and shatter a position.

Reinforcing happens because what people expect to see affects what they actually If I expect a church service to be dull and irrelevant I can so easily look for those things that reinforce my position.

But perceptions can be shattered and people warmed to gospel truth through seeing things they did not expect to see. I was speaking with a friend this week who said that in chatting with men who do not attend church; their reason was that men just tag along, sit idly and do not engage in anything constructive while involved in church activities. My friend said that last week his church ran a holiday club, and as part of the program several men from the congregation took a day off work and served as baristas making coffee. These men were busy, enjoying themselves, joking with one another and smiling. My friend commented that this little thing changed the perception of what church was like for a number of the male visitors. 

There are some things that operate as perception changers for people unfamiliar with the things of faith. We need to be on the look out for them.