I attended a young adult's service recently where the minister was preaching on 1 Peter 3. A clear exposition was made concerning our responsibility in the area of submission in a variety of settings, including work and marriage.
The minister, admitting the marriage question in particular is controversial in our world, explained how he saw that playing out in his marriage. He talked of how he and his wife lived in a partnership, with each of them working and taking responsibilities in areas of their gifting. He saw that he had particular responsibility as a the leader and initiator, but was less clear about what that looked like in practice, outlining a range of activities in his marriage where his wife was more responsible or took the lead due to her areas of gifting.
There were six engaged couples in this congregation - and one of the young women asked during the Q & A session, "so what does submission look like in practice?"
Sharing was invited from mature Christian couples about their own marriages - one couple explained they worked very closely in partnership and saw almost no occasions when there had been any necessity for the husband to take the lead about any decisions, other than an imposed work-related example.
Another shared similarly, adding that his wife had completed post graduate education in theology so the husband would submit to her wisdom in that area at times since her knowledge exceeded his. One of the wives talked of keeping in mind Ephesians 5, remembering that the instructions to husbands and wives begins with "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ".
One of our struggles in applying these scriptures is the vastly different context in which we live today compared with Paul's time.
In Jewish society at the time, women were considered in many ways as inferior beings, being aligned with slaves and children in terms of some basic ways of contributing or not to society. For example, women were not allowed to testify in legal proceedings, nor study the Torah, nor read aloud in synagogues or lead Jewish assemblies.
Cicero, writing about women in Roman society, stated ‘Our ancestors, in their wisdom, considered that all women, because of their innate weakness, should be under the control of guardians.’
Admittedly, Plato argued convincingly for the moral goodness of women being equal to men, but added that they had different functional tasks in the society such as being the good wife which meant that they would run their household in obedience to their husband. Plato did support women's access to education for those who would benefit, though this was tempered by his belief that only a few women could be equal to men in some important tasks. (Gould, G. (1991). Women in the Writings of the Fathers. p.1.)
However the biological theory of the time promoting the idea of women "lacking in vital energies" in general trumped Plato's forward thinking: this is the context in which Paul was writing.
Not so today - we live in a context where male - female equality in ability and rights is enshrined in law. Women are educated to the same degree as men and gender roles in marriage have been released from the traditional patterns.
I am genuinely curious to understand the ways in which Christian couples are seeking to follow Biblical patterns in their marriages which reflect the "household codes" applied in our present day setting.
What examples can you share that give a clear, practical answer to the young woman's question?
