A review of The Longest Trip Home by John Grogan
John Grogan wrote the funny, affecting book Marley & Me, about his relationship with his dog (and marriage and parenting). It was made into a reasonably successful movie.
The Longest Trip Home is a memoir of growing up with strict Catholic parents. It starts slowly and awkwardly, with little of the charm and insight of Marley & Me. In fact I found John as a boy and teen to be weak in character, lying to protect himself, betraying his parents and friends, lacking in understanding or thoughtfulness or sensitivity.
The fact that he revealed so much in the memoir suggests he might see himself as the bad boy in a good family; however, it is difficult to suggest whether he is being very honest or simply unaware of how he comes across.
He is in stark contrast to his parents, who are very Jesus-like in their care for the poor and suffering, in spite of their own lack of resources. They are firm but fair, frequently trying to believe the best of their kids, often in spite of evidence to the contrary. His Mum has a quirky sense of humour, and his father has wisdom and strength.
I recognise that we are not born with good perspective, nor do we appreciate our parents while we are growing up, and it is clear that the rituals and superstitions of his parents' Catholicism confuse and distract John from understanding his parents' faith, because he is never able to articulate the depth of their faith, just the superficial elements.
However, John continues to take his immaturity and weakness into his adult relationships. He lacks the courage or integrity to end a relationship with one girl before he commences with another. He lies to his partner about all manner of things, but especially leading up to their cohabitation, while simultaneously lying to his parents.
What is very helpful about this book, for a Christian parent, is to understand what it might feel like for our children when they compare our faith with what they see and hear around them. John gives some useful insight as to how absurd elements of Christian faith (in this case particularly the sternness and rituals of Catholicism) can appear to one who simply does not appreciate the reason behind them.
Recently my minister asked why good Christian parents may end up with some children as believers, and some not believing. The answer: because ultimately it is up the individual to find relationship with God.
In this book John never tries to find relationship with God. He is the original prodigal son: wasteful and reckless. There is some suggestion of him "returning home" at the end of the book: he goes to a Mass, befriends a liberal priest, and sees the little graces of everyday as miracles from his deceased father… But there is no personal relationship with God, as indicated in Jesus' parable, no running and embracing and repentance.
It is clear that he sees "home" as both the physical location, and the context of faith which was so significant to his parents.
In spite of all these shortcomings, this book does have an ability to move, and the second half is much stronger, especially as John moves into his Marley & Me years.
The tragedy for his parents is that none of their four children share their faith. Yet they remain unconditionally loving until the end. By God's grace, a devout daughter-in-law brings them great comfort in their declining years. We need to pray that we will be effective witnesses to our children, and that they will have peers to encourage them to encounter God.
I was given this book by a non-believing daughter of believing parents. She described it as "the best book", and I am sure it was cathartic to read of a similar journey. The danger is that readers will see John Grogan's simplistic, selfish, trite comments as justification for throwing away any possibility of a personal encounter with the God and faith of their parents.
