I was shocked at a church service I attended two days after the Japanese earthquake that there were no public prayers for the people of Japan. I know that this congregation has family members living in Japan, and the local high school has a flourishing Japanese exchange program.

What had happened?  Then I checked in with myself – was I as conscious of the disaster there as I had been with the Brisbane floods, cyclone Yasi, or the Christchurch earthquake? Had I watched as much news footage as I had of those unfolding events? I realised that I was not and had not: I was not holding the people of Japan in my private prayers as I was going around my normal day to day life as I had with the other disasters. Maybe both the church and I were suffering from trauma fatigue? In response, I decided to post a newspaper photo of tsunami damage on my fridge to keep me faithful in prayer.

Becoming fatigued in response to ongoing trauma is a well known phenomenon in trauma counsellors called vicarious traumatisation. As they open their hearts to help others by hearing stories of fear, cruelty and suffering, they are affected. Symptoms can include apathy, sadness, hopelessness, cynicism, forgetfulness, irritability, rapid exhaustion, feeling work is a burden, self blame and feelings of failure.

Connecting empathically with the victims, as we can do as we watch the media coverage, we are emotionally moved by the experiences that are shared with us.

Trauma always involves loss. After going through a traumatic experience, the world is different, nothing is the same again. Even as onlookers, we can also begin to experience this sense of loss. We can lose our sense of safety, control, predictability and protection.

Vicarious traumatisation is a process, not an event, which includes both our strong feelings of grief, outrage and helplessness, and also our numbing defences against those feelings, our wish not to know.

For those exposed to ongoing trauma, prevention of vicarious traumatisation, colloquially referred to as burn out, involves ensuring there is balance in life: balanced time for work, rest and play. Once caught in its grip, an extra focus on self care is needed: reconnecting with a functioning and nurturing world through rest, exercise, laughing with friends, resting in God’s presence through prayer and meditation on God’s word.

Despite the questions that inevitably arise at times like this, I cling on to the hope that God is somewhere in the midst of the chaos in Japan, that He is a faithful God whose love never fails, unlike my own frail attempts.