I blinked when I read Proverbs 17:6 last week. "Parents are the pride of their children". What? I thought children were the pride of their parents. I started thinking about how much we baby boomers, in particular, have worked hard to be child focussed and to put our children first and I have a sneaking suspicion that perhaps we might have got it a bit out of whack.

Do you think that as a culture, we idolise our children? The young assistant minister at our church said to me many years ago when I had young children, "The parents in this suburb worship their children." The thought had never occurred to me, but I remember thinking at the time that we were all pretty keen on giving our kids every opportunity and possibly forgoing some luxuries ourselves so that our children would have every advantage and opportunity to fulfil their potential. This of course meant that if they showed the slightest interest in dancing, we would whip them off to ballet or jazz or tap to see if this was a gift they should or could develop.

I am fairly sure I wanted to give my kids opportunities I never had. However by the time my fourth child came along I was unable to fit ballet classes for her into my chaotic schedule of afternoon activities. She reminds me of this from time to time, feeling a little cheated that she missed out. Not that dancing was her forté (or perhaps we will never know). Anyway we did spend hours standing on the sideline at netball games watching her play

Daniel Donahoo, the author of Idolising Children, in an article entitled "Children must be raised not idolised" comments:

Our idolising of childhood and youth means we treat children like demi-gods, and in so doing fail to honour their humanity. We revere childhood, rather than respect it as a stage in life's journey. ...Policy has over-emphasised the importance of children and understated the need for strong familial and social support for children. Childhood development and well-being does not rely solely on programs for children, but on the strengthening of a civil society that can provide adequate health and community services that empower families and communities.

Parents need to love their children, enjoy their children and train up their children in the way they should go. When children become the centre of our universe, the whole family suffers. Parents can feel they are to blame if their children are not fulfilling their God-given potential, children feel the pressure to be all that their parents want them to be, and marriage relationships can take a battering as parents ignore each others' needs in their quest to give their children 'every opportunity'.

If parents are to be the pride of their children as Proverbs suggests, how best do we make our children proud of us? What do all the Gen X and Y parents think about this issue?