There is a problem in congregational life that I have spent the last twenty years trying to solve.
It is: "How can we organise things so that husbands and wives with kids can be actively involved in Bible study together?"
It is a real problem because:
"¢ fairly shortly after children arrive husbands and wives are separated in Bible study- the wife may go to one group and her husband another, but never together as someone has to be home to look after the kids, and you just get used to ministering in separate fields
"¢ it is easy for one member of the marriage to just withdraw from Bible study while the other continues. In our minds we think "this is just while the kids are young", but I have seen that once removed from regular small group meeting, it is very hard to get re-involved later on.
Some solutions
As I have asked people about how they solve this problem a number of solutions have been suggested.
1. Make it different each week. So for example: week 1 of the month the wives gather; week 2 the husbands gather; week 3 everyone gets baby sitters and both attend Bible study; week 4 the couples come with their kids and the hosts organise baby sitters at their home; and if there is a fifth week it is dinner together. This is difficult to keep going over a long period of time, but has the advantage of the couple ministering to the same couples.
2. Run Bible study after morning church for families, where a light meal is served to the kids and parents and the children are cared for with a minimum of fuss in front of a movie. Many families find this hard to keep up for an extended period as the kids get tired, bored and grumpy after a long morning, and many extended family activities are scheduled at Sunday lunch time.
3. Just realise that it is impossible to achieve and make good husbands only and wives only Bible studies.
4. Have a regular baby sitter look after the children while the parents attend Bible study. This seems to work quite well in rural and regional areas but has limited success in Sydney.
5. Arrange it so that the Bible study meets in the home of a couple, so at least one couple can attend a Bible study together.
An attractive option
Many of our ministries are segmented by such things as age, stage of life, gender and ethnic background. This is bemoaned by many, but it is a reality of relationships.
My suggestion is that rather than attempting to create a uniform group we recognise that different groups have different needs, yet each group also explores how it can serve other groups in the congregational life. So I would ask evening church members to man the Sunday School for the morning church, and ask the morning church families to open up their homes to host a Bible study group for evening church.
So in order to help couples serve in Bible study together we could:
"¢ ask childless people from another segment of church to be regular baby sitters. Have them join the couple for dinner and so share the lives of the family, and allow the couple to be involved in Bible study.
"¢ have families host Bible study for childless people and one member of a couple who can be freed up to be out at night. This will not solve the problem for every couple, but will allow more to be involved together.
Going down paths such as this will help the natural divide that occurs across the different stages of life.
